So I have been feeling blah lately.. I cant seem to get Konner's sickness off my mind. I stare at this happy little baby that is mine and I just cant help but think about him being sick. I dont think it ever goes away. I try so hard to put everything at the back of my head and just try to focus on him getting better. But I still look at him and wish that I can just take his sickness away. Babies aren't suppose to get this sick. They aren't suppose to have to fight this awful battle. What gets me is Konner was born with this type of cancer. He had a tumor when he was born. I dont know how big it was then, but it couldnt have been that big. I do have alot to be thankful for and thats what I hang on to. I still have Konner to hold everyday. I still can hear him cry and try my best to comfort him when he is in pain. I know there are others out there who dont have that and for that im grateful. I just wish I had a wish!